I can’t even imagine

I can’t imagine losing my mother at this age. My mom is the most important person in my life and I love her more than anyone, so losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. And for the past few months, I’ve kept a certain family in my prayers. Jonny’s family. His mom had cancer and I prayed that she would somehow recover and live a long, healthy life. She passed away yesterday. I never met her, yet I want to cry. I have a huge lump in my throat and my heart just goes out to the family. Jonny is amazing and the last few times he and Nothing More covered “Vesica Piscis” in honor of his mom, I’ve gotten chills. And it’s just not right for him to have to endure this at 22 years old. I hope he and his family keep faith that God will take care of them through the most difficult time in their lives. I’ll keep praying for them, like I’ve been doing. I know I’ll be emotional next time I see him and next time they play that song. It’s just so inspiring to hear him sing that song. It’s something I wish everyone could experience.

RIP Mrs. Hawkins

Thoughts for today 1/11

-Happy 21st birthday JJ! 7 months and a day until mine.

-All of a sudden I got in a bad mood and don’t want to talk. To anyone.

-Football is pissing me off because not ONE team I have rooted for has won a playoff game. And I’ve rooted for the Giants, Titans, Vikings, Dolphins, Falcons, and Panthers. So at this point, I don’t care who wins it all, as long as it’s not the eagles.

-I think Santonio Holmes is a stupid name.

-Last night we chilled with some family friends and it was so much fun. I wish I could have a night like that every week.

-I smile every time someone writes on my wall on Facebook or leaves me a comment on Myspace.

-Brian Dawkins is a thug and I would like to punch him in the face.

-Earlier, the smell from the caldo my dad was making made me feel nauseous, but now it smells good.

-School starts tomorrow and I’m not excited.

-I have a headache and did nothing productive today. I haven’t even left the house.

-I like when people call me, but I do not always like calling people.

Random thoughts

I’m kinda bored…so why not?

-I absolutely love the fact that the Boston Celtics are losing! Haha that’s what yall get! Not so tough anymore Garnett?

-Those little girls who compete in beauty pageants scare the crap out of me. They look like dolls, but like, dolls that are alive. And that’s scary.

-I miss Nothing More. A lot. I can’t wait for their CD release on Feb. 21.

-School starts Monday. I’m not happy or excited about it.

-Ever since high school, I’ve wanted to be on the Real World. And after watching the season premiere the other day, I realized I still want to be on it. I really, really want to be on it. I want to have a bond with people and share a special experience that only we’ll have. And I don’t know how to have that other than being on the Real World.

-I’m bored, yet I refuse to call or text people. I’m weird when it comes to that. I wait to be called/texted out of past experiences when people don’t answer.

-My brother is on a church retreat and his gf is there too, which upsets me.

-I split a top shelf strawberry margarita with my mom today and it was delicious. I didn’t care that I was underage.

-I’m in need of a vacation. Yeah, I know, I’m on break now…but I mean an actual vacation. I haven’t been on one since we went to Santa Fe to snowboard back in 2007. Going to Garner and Rockport don’t count as vacation to me.

-”Vesica Piscis” by the now defunct band SouthFM is currently my favorite song. And I’m falling in love with Paco Estrada’s voice.

-I got to take JJ to her first ever Spurs game last night. It was cool and it was nice to hang with her. This past week/week and a half is the most I’ve chilled with her since high school.

-7 months and 3 days until my 21st birthday!

-I miss my dog, Buster. I miss him everyday.

-LMAO because Candace Parker is preggers. So that’s why you and Shelden eloped! And lol at you supposedly being back in time for the season…yeah right.

-I’m getting slightly worried that Ann Wauters hasn’t re-signed. I’m not scared she’ll sign elsewhere, but I’m scared she just won’t come back.

-I really hope my dinner plans work out manana although I won’t be surprised if they don’t.

-One person texted me today. One text too. That depresses me.

-Barack Obama is hot. Seriously, he is.

-I think my cousin is a Blood. I’m hoping he’s not.

-Bromance might be the stupidest show in the history of TV. Actually, it’s probably tied for the stupidest with The Hills, The City, and all those A Shot at Love shows.

-Even though we ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant, I’m craving some salsa.

-I’m still bored…and still refusing to call/text :p

A trippy dream

The last two nights I’ve been having really weird dreams. Last nights was crazy weird. I was playing on some team. A team of what, and what we were playing, I have no clue. But I was a starter and team captain. It was also the first game of the season and we were playing phoenix. I hate phoenix and hated them in the dream. So I gathered up my teammates for a huddle before the game in hopes to get them pumped up. They didn’t seem too responsive, but I didn’t care. I was fired up! On my team at the beginning of the dream was myself, my brother, Ruth Riley and Sophia Young of the San Antonio Silver Stars, Aqua Franklin of the Sacramento Monarchs, Tangela Smith of the phoenix mercury, my friends Sara and Rosearl from high school, and some dude. Why Aqua and Tan were on the team…I have no idea. Actually, why anyone was on the team…and why I was the captain, I have no idea either. So like I said, I was a starter/team captain and I specifically remember Aqua and Tan on the bench to start the game. Aqua was pissed about it and I told her she was a rookie and this was her first game, so she was coming off the bench. Plus, she and I played the same position and I was going to start. My brother, for some reason, was doing the jump ball to start. I don’t know why considering 6′5 Ruth Riley was on our team. But before the jump ball, “The Me” by Nothing More came on and my brother and I rocked out to it. When it was over, the ref did the toss and the game started. My brother and the chick he was jumping against both sucked, but I eventually got the ball and took off down some stairs and shot a layup, missed like 4 times, kept getting my rebound, and finally scored. This is when everything got weird. My brother wasn’t there anymore and there was no more basketball. Some fat 1,500 lbs guy on the other team decided to sit on me after I scored. And he wouldn’t get up! I couldn’t breathe or talk and all I could really do was bang on the floor. My teammates kept walking past and either they didn’t see some fat dude sitting on me or they pretended to not see. I was dying. Finally, the dude on my team came and pushed fatty off and to retaliate, I sat on him! Now he’s 1,500 lbs and I’m not, but apparently I was hurting him because he was acting like a baby saying he couldn’t breathe and all that. My teammates came up to me FURIOUS that I had the audacity to sit on him and yelled at me to get off. WTF? HE SAT ON ME! They didn’t care and left. I was mad, but kept playing whatever it was that we were playing. I couldn’t find most of my teammates, so I went to look for them. I think I called Tan into the game during this time too. Then I found my teammates. They were sitting in a computer room (where that came from, I don’t know) and they were either typing stuff or writing stuff. Sara and Rosearl were there typing and they didn’t realize I was there. So I glanced over at what they were writing and it was a list of things they liked and didn’t like about the team. And lo and behold, at the top of the list was what they didn’t like. And I saw my name. WHAT!? So I kept reading and it said things like “too intense”, “too competitive” and “sat on a player’s neck”. And I dream-thought to myself, “How can I be too competitive? I’m competing!” I agree with my dream-self too. What kind of competitor would I be if I wasn’t competitive? So I called them out like wtf dude, I’m the team captain! And they said they thought it was mean of me to sit on someone because he couldn’t breathe and I hurt his neck. That’s when I noticed Ruth was writing a list in a purple pen. I don’t know why it was in purple, but it was and when she noticed I was looking at her, she started to erase the last two things she wrote on the list. But I had already seen. It was a list of things/people she didn’t like and she had my name down like 4 times. I told her it was okay to put my name down and I wouldn’t hold it against her. She was like alright and continued writing my name. I was getting annoyed and I decided to call Erin Buescher to see if she was to be joining us this season. I knew she was in Greece for her wedding, but I thought maybe she’d join us afterwards. I give her a call, tell her I miss her, and ask if she’s gonna come back. She says no, not this season. So I tell Ruth and Sophia she won’t be playing this year. By this time, I really had no idea who was “winning” whatever we were playing and I decided to put the rookie Aqua Franklin in and give myself a break. As I was walking over to the bench, our coach tells me that I’m benched and not only is Aqua subbing in for me, but she’s going to be starting in place of me for the time being. I’m stunned and Aqua comes over and gets real sarcastic and snippy to me, which pisses me off. So I sit on the bench upset. Then I just decided to go back into the game. So I do and I’m in this room “playing” and I’m joined by teammates. Those teammates happened to be this chick from school and Lindsey Lohan. I start talking to them about my intensity and competitiveness and they seem to be on my side. So we decide to sneak up on the other team and then we start pretend shooting them with guns. Yeah, I don’t know why. So then the captain of the other team says the game is over and they think they should win the game. I’m like hell no! I said we needed some concrete, objective way of deciding who wins, not the other team deciding they win 20-19. Lindsey Lohan and the chick from school tell me to just let the other team have their way and I finally give in. I was already upset that majority of my team didn’t like or respect me and that I was benched. So we lost and we went into the locker room to take showers. For whatever reason, there was only two showers and being the team captain, I felt like I should go in first. But because I wanted my teammates to respect me, I told them I’d be the last one in the shower. I was doing anything to win points with them. Well they took forevers! And eventually I got in the shower. Then I woke up, which pissed me off because I wanted to see what else was gonna happen! Pretty strange dream, to say the least.

My weekend with Nothing More

And the first blog of 2009! All things considered, it was a great weekend. Yeah there was some drama and yeah I had to go to both shows by myself…but my sixth and seventh Nothing More shows were BY FAR the best I have seen. So to everyone who ditched me or blew me off about the show, it’s all yalls loss. You missed two amazing shows.

Jan. 3 @ Scout Bar
The drama here was that I couldn’t find anyone to go with me and Matt couldn’t go because it was 18+ only. I had people blow me off and ignore my texts, which is one of my pet peeves. I tried one last plea to my primo, who was working the Spurs game, and he said he’d try to come after the game. Of course, he didn’t. So I’m watching the Spurs game before, I leave at halftime and we’re up by about 8 which is kinda crappy considering we had been up by 21. But whatevs, I get lost on my way to Scout Bar (mapquest always screws me over) and started to panic because I think I was heading over to Bulverde. I eventually find the place and it was packed! I watch the rest of the game at the bar and then The Clarity comes on. They’re pretty good. After them was Meriweather and they were really good. And I liked the fact that the bassist had an Animal Wear tattoo and the hot guitar player was wearing an Animal Wear shirt. Anyways, NM was on after them and the set was INSANE! I was in the front, as usual, but I found myself on the wrong side of Jonny’s drums so I had a bit of an obstructed view. But it was awesome, the crowd was really into it, and they sounded amazing. Sad news was, before they covered “Vesica Piscis” (which is my favorite song at the moment) Jonny said his mom wasn’t doing well. He always dedicates that song to his mom, who has cancer, but I think this was the first time I heard him say she wasn’t doing well. So that was sad. But he sings the song so beautifully and full of emotion. Hearing/seeing him sing that song is worth the price of admission on it’s own, I promise you. Which, by the way, I didn’t have to pay the cover because the wonderful Mark put me on the guestlist. THANK YOU! So they ended with “Sixtysecondaffair” with the ”Under the Eyes of Selene” intro like they always do and then…they played an encore of…”Fat Kid”!!! Oh I was so stoaked to hear the new version live for the first time. It was awesome. So afterwards, I said a quick hi to Mark and got a hug before I took off. It was a sweet show, to say the least.

Jan. 4 @ Jack’s Patio Bar & Grill
So there was drama here too, haha. It was an all ages, early show and my brother had planned on going. So I wasn’t really concerned with being by myself. Plus, I called JJ and she was down to go too. So I was happy that there wouldn’t be any typical, pre-Nothing More show drama like there always is. Of course I was wrong! I don’t know what was up with my brother, but he didn’t want to go anymore. Then JJ got locked out of her house and said she’d meet me there. So I drove over to Jack’s and I basically lost it because I was so annoyed I’d have to be alone again. But I calmed down with the drive and with a little chat with God. Doors were at 6 and I got there just after 6. Hardly anyone was there. I paid my cover and then went back into the bar to watch the Eagles-Vikings game before the show. Now this show was gonna be a bit different. Nothing More has these two songs called the “Black Tracks”. There’s “Black Track” and “Black Track: 2″. And they were going to open the entire show, at 6:30, with them. But they did a little more than that. Nothing More plus Josh, their former guitarist, and Drake Mac, who raps on “Black Track: 2″, performed a set together as The BlackTrax. They played about 30 minutes or so and it was so sick. They played both “Black Tracks” as well as the old version of “Fat Kid” and a few other songs. They were dressed up ridiculously hilarious and just jammed and had a good time. They were supposed to play at 6:30, but since there wasn’t a lot of people at the time, they waited until a little after 7, which was fine with me. I got to see the end of the game and got a quick hug from Mark before their first set. After The BlackTrax, there was a band called The Vettes who also played the day before with NM, but I missed them since I got to Scout Bar late. Anyways, it was four brothers and a sister. They were pretty cool, there was a lot of synth, but still cool. The lead singer chick totally intimidated me though. She had these huge heels on with some tight little hot pink shirt/shorts outfit thing with a fur coat on. And her hair reminded me of like, Cindi Lauper or something. And she’d get like, right in your face and sing to you while winking and pointing. She did that to me a couple times and you know, I don’t know the words to her songs! So I just looked at her and then started laughing because it was weird. She seemed like a cool chick though. THEN Nothing More came on and played the same set as the night before, which I was more than happy about because it was an awesome set! I made sure I was on the other side of Jonny’s drums so I had a really good view. And I was in front of Mark so I FINALLY got some amazing pics of him. Anyways, for this night, Jonny explained a bit about the song “Vesica Piscis” and said it was about the dying words of Jesus. And it’s for anyone who is going through suffering right now. That was touching and I sang the song to him as loud as I could. So they were on to the last part of the set and Jonny picks up a couple of drumsticks and gives one to me and another to the dude next to me. Yay, I was excited. I’ve gotten a setlist before (thanks Sean) but never a drumstick or pick. I’m still not sure if it was Jonny’s stick or Devin’s, but either way, I was happy. After they finished up I talked to Mark for a while, got some hugs of course, and then found Jonny, said hi real quick and got a hug, and then took off. It was awesome. I can’t wait til Feb. 21 aka Dan’s 25th birthday AND their CD release show. Sweet!