“Vesica Piscis”

By SouthFM, a now defunct band from Dallas. Nothing More has been covering this song and I finally found it on iTunes and bought it. It couldn’t be more perfect for what I need right now. It’s all I’ve got. To quote Yellowcard, “I’m finding out I’m on my own. I am all alone”. That is me. That’s how I feel. But this song, “Vesica Piscis”, gives me hope that yeah, I feel like crap and I don’t know why things have to be the way they are, but one day, I’ll understand. “He said Son, don’t you know it has to be this way/and maybe someday/you’ll understand grace”. I think that’s what God is trying to tell me. Maybe one day I’ll understand. This is my cry to God, “Father will you forgive the debt I’m willing to pay/one can only yield so much bending before he breaks/Father will you let me know when all of this pain will be over/when it’s over”. Because I’ve been dealing with pain for so, so long. I thought it would have let up by now, but it hasn’t. And I pray every night for God to send me someone who will save me. He hasn’t sent that person yet, but hopefully soon. Because I “can only yield so much bending before [I break]“. There’s not much more I can take of this lonliness. I’m longing for a relationship of any kind. I don’t mean a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship necessarily, but one of any kind. I need someone. And I’m alone, always. Always when I need someone, I find myself alone. I have no friends and it’s lonely. I don’t know why. Maybe one day I’ll understand.